tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38152004.post2301423151843688417..comments2023-03-23T17:03:12.246-07:00Comments on The God vs No God Debate: Happiness vs JoyRandy Kirkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07187149342560881341noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38152004.post-22381236061703197782007-12-07T05:50:00.000-08:002007-12-07T05:50:00.000-08:00Wow! I am responding quite a bit later.. I woke u...Wow! I am responding quite a bit later.. I woke up this morning with the exact dilemma that you address in this little blog. Excellent, really. Very few even think about the two. Often, people treat them as one and the same. <BR/>Why did I seek an answer or perspective this morning?<BR/>I have fought with "feeling good" all my life. Addiction to opiates (very on and off) is the primary struggle, however, this behavior manifests itself as a general twisted perspective of mine. That is wanting to "feel good" or "feel happy". <BR/>Having said this- I tasted Joy once in my life. I had a divorce come down on me out of the blue. I had just moved to Maine from Miami. My children were with their Mom and I did not know if I would ever live with them again. To make a long story short- for some reason, alone, facing the stress of a new job, in a new place with a looming divorce- in my back yard I prayed and asked simply that a tiny bit of the weight be taken off so that I could at least go to work. And this tiny prayer led to the entrance into..... best described as conversion. There were no flashing lights or voices of God speaking to me- just... do this and this and you will get through the day. I submersed myself in the NT and other related readings and talks. Was I happy? In short, no. I still woke up terrified, I still barely made it to work. I was consumed with sadness. But this propelled me constantly to pray and beg for mercy.<BR/>I cannot expain it in words. But their was joy. A certainty of being on the right path. Less inner conflict. Sort of like being in a battle that is totally justified, but not a war battle, but rather inner. (actually I think that is the true meaning of Jihad, now that I think of it). <BR/>Little by little as things got better, I began to seek what most humans seek when they are able to function better- happiness. Most of what I sought was not that bad. But to make a long story short- I had to move back to Miami to care for my mom. It was better for my girls and high school (I ended up with them). I went from a calm life that I "felt" relatively "happy" in Maine- to a very busy life that was and is very "unhappy". I started using pain killers, which in short led to my seeking help and being placed on a drug that helps addicts avoid opiates- suboxone. It works well. But all this is a "seeking to feel ok" type of thing. Sometimes I penetrate this and struggle and experience some joy....but not really. I am no longer in the battle. I have succomed to being focused on "being ok" or "feeling happy". And in no way have I found it.<BR/>In writing this I see now what the answer is. And that is returning to battle..... suffering. I dread it.<BR/>I do not want to suffer like I did in Maine. But yet such joy and intimacy with God does this bring. Jesus comes to life, and life becomes mystery once again.<BR/>I will pray for you. Please, please pray for me brother.<BR/>Daniel- email riveternite@yahoo.fr- (.fr not .com)<BR/>if you want to write. If not, thank you very much for your blog, that really helped me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com